The Power Tools for Living

Respect: is defined as treating others as you want to be treated; to hold yourself, others, and property with high regard. (Respect is the hub of all interactions in a healthy relationship. Without it, there is no real intimacy or connection.)

Responsibility: is the cost of a privilege. (In today’s society, this would be being able to own a home, wearing fashionable clothing, driving a late model car, dining out for convenience or pleasure, having the latest technology for entertainment, etc.) This same false sense of entitlement is sometimes seen in relationships in children and adults who choose to ignore or even fail to understand the “cost of the privilege(s)” they enjoy in their relationships, and thereby jeopardized their relationships at home, school, work and in the community.

Relationship Skills: Verbal and nonverbal communication (like eye contact, smiling, friendly body language, saying “hello,” shaking hands or calling people by their name) is used to reveal that a person desires to establish or maintain a relationship with another person. These powerful, yet simple skills give children and adults alike the means to open the doorway to interact with new people or to show those they are already know that the relationship is alive and thriving. Possession of these skills is vital to relationships within families and marriages and in schools, work places, and communities.

Boundaries: Visible and invisible lines that tell us where our rights, responsibilities, and power start and stop. (It is only as one has a clear understanding of physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual boundaries the tone can achieve satisfying and nurturing relationships with one’s self, family, friends and in marriage, work, and community). In any situation, boundaries help us understand where our rights, responsibility and power start and stop, therefore, free us from codependence, victimization, abuse, and anarchy in our homes, community and world.

Empathy: Reading the feelings of another and responding responsibly. When a person experiences the accurate reading of his/her feelings and a responsible response from another being (including a horse), validation, significance, and empowerment result. When a person perceives that his/her feelings are not recognized and validated, alienation, loneliness, insignificance, anger, and despondency may result.

Choices and Consequences: Much of the world is focused on their immediate choice before them, rather than on the consequence or outcome they desire. (In fact, many people are often unaware that they are even making choices). Choice – the act of choosing; selection. Consequence – the result or outcome of a choice. Constant attention must be paid to the results or outcomes one wants in life (good friends, health, education, a loving family, fulfilling career, etc.) and then deliberate choices made to bring about those desired outcomes.

Source: Power Tools for Living by Robert Magnelli and Nancy Magnelli; EAGALA, 2011